The Five Stages of Grief

What is Grief?

Grief is a multifaceted response to any significant loss.  It is usually experienced through our emotions but it does impact our whole being including our body, our cognitive functioning and our behaviors. Grief can effect our interpersonal connections.  While grieving, we may find ourselves questioning our beliefs about life, spirit and God.  All of these experiences are a natural response to significant loss. 

Grieving is a process through which one adjusts to loss. It can be in response to the death of a loved one, ending of a relationship, loss of a job or other significant life situation.   

Time does not heal grief.  Our attentiveness to our grieving process is how we heal. 

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross was a pioneer in understanding the grieving process  She identified that most people pass through five stages of grief. Though the grieving stages are universal, we all have unique contexts of life through which we respond to loss.  There is no right or wrong way to grieve; nor an appropriate time-line associated with grieving.  Grief and depression are not the same thing.  Depression is one of the stages of grief, but it is a fluid stage.  If one remains at this or any stage of grief in ways that halt the grieving process, it is important to reach out for qualified support.

When an individual dies, that spirit is helped through the transition from physical life into afterlife. All people who die are nurtured through the transition into spirit by the spirit world. It is equally important to allow ourselves who are grieving the death of a loved one or loss of any major life situation to receive multifaceted support throughout our transition of acceptance.

What are the 5 Stages of Grief?

Today's blog focuses on the grieving process for those living in the physical world, adjusting to loss.  The next blog will explore how these five stages are experienced in afterlife. Even those who pass into afterlife, transition through these stages as they too come to terms with no longer being physically alive.

Denial - Denial is a defense used to minimize the emotional impact of loss. Sometimes it is a cognitive effect and other times denial saturates our emotions and we shut down or become numb.  Some of us adopt a "stiff upper lip" and go right into action preparing the funeral or taking care of others. If we are processing the ending of a marriage or loving relationship, we may indulge in affairs or push ourselves out into the dating pool quickly to avoid the feelings of loss.  We may jump into a job search or keep ourselves busy to avoid the pain of loss. When death comes suddenly, denial is one way to absorb the information.  When death or loss are expected, denial surfaces because we believe we should not feel the pain of loss or cannot process the emotions associated with the loss. 

Denial is usually a temporary state as the emotions will eventually surface and the realization of loss will become conscious. Denial can last for moments, days or years. We can facilitate this stage of loss through our willingness to be present to whatever we are feeling in any given moment. It is important to know that we may feel a deep sense of loss even when death or loss was expected.

Some phrases that indicate an individual is in denial are: "Its for the best"; "I am OK"; "She's in a better place"; "As long as I keep busy..."; "That company/job/lover/friend was no good/a loser/bad news"; "There's other fish in the sea"; "Time will heal this"; "I'd better start dating"; "I shouldn't feel badly because I knew this was coming".  When I learned of my father's sudden death, I shouted "No, no, no, no, no..." and waved my hands at the individual who broke the news to me for several moments before I finally let the news into my consciousness and began to cry. 

Anger - Anger is a natural human emotion and a healthy function of the grieving process. Many of us feel uncomfortable with anger but it is a healthy response to an imbalance or perceived loss of power.  When fully processed, anger can move us from feelings of helplessness and abandonment into functional action. Anger will inevitably surface and we are meant to be with this part of our grieving journey attentively, without judging ourselves. 

We may feel completely powerless, abandoned by our loved ones during our grief.  We may find ourselves blaming others including God and the deceased. Often feelings of resentment, envy or jealousy appear during this stage. As we learn to breathe deeply through these emotions of anger, it will inform us so that we can tend to this stage of grief without trying to fix it, minimize it or become stuck within its hold. After my father died I wondered "why would God take someone so kind, generous and loving so early?" 

Common thoughts during this stage of grief are: "Why me??"; "Why him/her?"; "How can this happen?"; "Who is to blame?"; "Why didn't God answer our prayers? or Protect him/her?"

Bargaining - In this stage of grief, the bereaved person may begin questioning what could have been done differently.  This is an equally important stage of our grieving as we are coming to terms with life changing from what we have known it to be. During this stage the individual may feel overly responsible for the loss. This is a significant stage through which an individual reflects upon his/her role in what has happened. If the feelings of responsibility toward the deceased or life change are not resolved, the person may remain angry and guilty which prevents the full transition into acceptance.  Sometimes it is in this stage of grief that an individual clings to the spirit of the deceased, hoping he/she will remain close by in afterlife.  I recall asking God to bring back my dad.  I remember waking up and hoping I had dreamed the whole thing. These are all facets of the bargaining stage of grief. 
 
Each stage of grief allows us to transition from experiencing life in one way to experiencing it in a whole new way.  At any point in the process an individual can get stuck or can allow the emotional responses to be fully integrated.

Common thoughts at this stage of grief are: "If I could just feel him/her; see him/her"; "If I could just hold onto him/her I won't have to let go and feel what life is like without that individual"; "Please bring him/her back"; "Please show up in my dreams"; "please don't let this be real".

Depression - Depression is a stage of grief.  Depression and grief are not the same but they can mimic one another for a period of time.  During this stage of grieving, there is deep void and often a sense of hopelessness.  This is the stage when the grieving individual may withdraw from others.  This is a functional choice during the grieving process, as it can be a deeply contemplative stage. This stage of grief should not be minimized nor should support people try to cheer up the grieving or "get them out" or "keep them busy".  Feeling the void is a facet of coming to terms with the loss of what was once there. When we attend to this aspect of our emotional response without judgment, it is a fluid experience.  We may touch feelings of despair, not wish to speak with anyone, but if we breathe into these feelings, we will experience our ability to be present with the depths of despair while simultaneously witnessing, and healing our grief.  Feeling these emotions moves us through our healing journey. 

Support can be helpful, especially when despair and lack of self-care are sustained.  It is not helpful to encourage someone to "get past it" or "take their mind off of it".  Distraction does not promote healing. We do not need to fear deep emotions.  We will not die from intense feelings or be overrun by them. We are capable of extremely profound anguish and healing. 

Grief support creates a safe haven for individuals to move non-judgmentally through the phases of grief into acceptance and integration. My father died 2 months after the birth of my daughter, his first grandchild. There was a period of time when life seemed empty without him.  I used to speak with him on the phone every day.  We both loved to laugh and used to spontaneously call one another to share the latest great joke we had heard.  I felt the depth of that irreplaceable void for some time.  Though I had the beauty of my new child in my life, that did not replace the loss of my father.  I had to feel life without his physical presence and slowly, gently come to terms with a new life without him in it. 

Common thoughts associated with depression stage of grief are "Life has lost its meaning"; "why should I go on?"; "I wish I could join him/her?"; "I don't care about anyone/anything else".

Acceptance - During this stage of grief, the bereaved moves into an awareness that death is an inevitable aspect of life and that life is going to continue to thrive in a whole new way.  We may expand into states of gratitude for the gifts experienced through that relationship or experience. We still miss the individual and simultaneously adjust to our new reality.   I remember when life began to feel fresh again and I felt a profound gratitude for having known my father and being able to experience the bliss of that reality in present time.  My heart opened up and I knew that his gifts lived on in me and others and I experienced a new found peace.

Common thoughts during acceptance are "I am OK even though I miss him/her"; "I feel the void and still I am breathing and loving life"; "I know my loved one exists in spirit; I am here in the physical world; I can sense him or her at times but trust he/she is where he/she needs to be and I am now where I need to be"; "Life is rich and I am grateful for that experience".  

The five stages of grief are fluid meaning we do not move from one stage to the next in a linear manner.  We may feel completely at peace in one moment and find ourselves angry in the next.  A wide array of emotions and symptoms are common throughout a grieving process and our attentiveness to these is how we heal. By giving ourselves and others the energy and space to authentically process loss we will discover our capacities for healing through the grieving process. Our culture likes to fix suffering and stop pain.  But grieving is a natural process of accepting loss.  We cannot rush through it or make pain disappear.  It will surface until we attend to it.

Support people can help the grieving by not trying to push anyone to feel "better" but simply to ensure that the individual's basic needs are being met through the process and being equally present to whatever emotions show up.

Grieving is not an illness to be treated.

Grief is a healthy process of coming to terms with loss.  The loss of a loved one or significant life experience can trigger deep emotional responses that may be tied to unresolved losses in earlier life.  When these arise, they are surfacing to be integrated into experience and being. It is important to be compassionate with whatever arises during grief and to give ourselves the support we may not have gotten when we were young.  It can help to educate ourselves about grief and actively engage in support groups, individual grief-centered therapy, yoga, exercise, meditation, conscious breath work and other healing tools while grieving.

Remember that time does not heal loss.  We heal loss through our attentive willingness to be with what is present and evolve through the experience.

Some Support Resources for Grieving:

Grief Support Groups: When we are grieving and others are not, we can feel isolated in our grief.  Being with those who have experienced loss can nurture us through our process. When we give ourselves active space and energy toward our healing, we will evolve through our grief.  A support group is a place where you can be truthful about your emotional responses to loss and receive compassionate attentiveness while you share and offer compassionate attentiveness to others too.  After my father died I was unclear if I had entered into postpartum depression or a facet of grief.  I found a support group at my family's synagogue and found it most helpful.  All of us were dealing with different kinds of losses but the space and compassionate energy toward healing ourselves and one another helped me to feel through my depression into acceptance, rather than isolating and marinating in my suffering.


Individual Therapy: There are all kinds of psychotherapy so discernment is important. It may be helpful to seek individual counseling during your grieving process depending on your life experiences and the circumstances associated with loss.  Your compassionate willingness to receive support is an act of courage and strength on behalf of your evolution.  Referrals are a great resource for finding your trained, qualified support person.  A psychic medium reading is not the same as authentic therapeutic counseling. Most psychic mediums are not trained in grief counseling. Even though I am a trained psychotherapist, if I offer a reading to a new client, I will usually refer him or her to another practitioner who is trained as a grief counselor when that kind of support is indicated. Make certain you turn to a professional trained in the grief counseling and that the professional is also resonant with your spiritual values.  


Engage in Presence Activities:  Take yoga, Qi Gong (pronounced "chi" gong), get a massage, take an Epsom Salt bath or enroll in a breath workshop.  Learn to be in your body, feeling whatever is present without judging, running or distracting yourself.  You will discover you innate power to be with you and the wide arrange of emotions available to you.  You will learn to be fearless when any emotions arise.  You will discover the deep well of peace existing within your core through this journey. After my father passed away, I discovered sitting and walking meditations as means for being present.

Participate in Meaningful Activities:  Take a walk outdoors, go see a funny movie, play with a pet; adopt or get a pet; paint or draw; bake or cook something you appreciate; volunteer for a charity that you care about; help a child or senior in need; cook a meal for someone; plant a tree.  Do not force any of these choices.  Do so only when your spirit moves you to do these and do not do them as a distraction. Engage in these activities to support your grieving process, not to minimize it. 

Being outdoors will serve your healing because nature is filled with the life force that sustains us.  The energy field surrounding your body will unfold and expand when you spend at least 15 minutes outside and in direct sunlight. Touch a tree for 5 - 10 minutes and let nature support your healing.  Envision roots growing from your feet into the earth and branches flowing from the top of your head into the divine, just like the tree. Your body, mind and spirit will be nourished through this simple process. 

Seeing a funny movie can be a very important act by allowing you time to integrate and engage in laughter.  Laughter promotes hormonal releases that nourish the entire physiology and promote healing.  The same is true when we engage in meaningful activities.  What do you love to do?  What nurtures you?  Don't do it to distract yourself from your grief but as a means of being actively in the world, while grieving.

Breathe deeply. Practice breathing deeply into your abdomen and elongating your exhale.  Learn to be present in your body.  Feel your feet, feel your hands, feel your cells.  Experience your breath.  Feel your heartbeat.  Witness your emotions and feel them moving like fluid water pouring through a stream non-resistantly cleansing and nourishing you.

Write Your Story: Write the story of your life and how that person fit into your life and into the lives of others. What have you learned as a result of that relationship?  What did you give to that individual and he/she to you?  Write the story in words within a beautiful notebook symbolizing that soul.  Create a collage or write a poem, song or draw a symbol of your experience and that person. Share the story with a compassionate party.  Discover how you will bring meaning from your experiences into your present life now.

Indulge in Self Care: This is the time to take positive actions for self care. Eat healthy foods, rest and sleep; take walks outdoors, pamper yourself.  If your religion asks you to abstain from any of these activities for a period of time, honor your spiritual truth but do not deprive yourself of care.  Do whatever you can to nourish yourself well while you are grieving. Let others show up and be there for you during this time.  If you need alone time, rest and honor this.  When you need to socialize, schedule time with supportive friends.  Listen carefully to what your authentic needs are during this time and tend to them honorably.

Visit a Qualified Clear Medium: This is not yet viewed as culturally acceptable in the grieving process but I have experienced the value of this experience on both sides of the process. In my case, I am a trained clinical psychologist (master's level) and a shamanic medium. My readings are not psychotherapy but they are offered with healing intent. A quality mediumship reading will promote insight, meaning, closure and healing for all concerned.

Mediums have different skills and training.  As a medium, I know that spirits will only come to speak with my clients to be part of the healing journey.  There is no casual conversation during a mediumship session, nor does a spirit cause any kind of distress to the living. When a message is received from spirit to the living, the spirit will shift through his or her grieving and integration process and the transformation is typically immediately observable.

No medium will make you dependent upon him or her for answers or ongoing communications with the deceased.  Usually one or two readings in one year are sufficient to serve your healing journey. There are a few exceptions but these are exceptions.  After my father died I was not yet serving as a professional medium, so I went to see a young psychic medium named Rebecca Rosen. I had never been to a medium before. Intuitively I knew she was an authentic channel.  That reading proved to significantly nurture my healing journey.

Remember Life is Eternal:  Birth and death are stages of life. You are a divine soul serving the expansion of consciousness through the human experience.  You chose to come into a physical body to experience the bliss of spirit through physical senses and you choose to leave the body when you are complete with that aspect of your soul's journey. All of life serves your soulful expansion.

Grief may not be easy.  It may not be comfortable.  Loss is an aspect of life that all of us are innately capable of experiencing and effectively growing through.  Grieving is natural.  Intense emotions are natural.  Learning to be present with grief, tending to ourselves compassionately and receiving sound support during the grieving process will nurture our innate ability to heal. 

Coming Out of the Closet

Recently Portia de Rossi and Ricky Martin have shared their stories of pain and shame about living as homosexuals who had been deep in the closet. Both spoke about the anguish of being made to feel like something was innately wrong with them for being gay.  Both spoke of longing to feel normal and how living in shame for the way they were created impacted their lives.

Boy can I relate.

It may be surprising to learn how deeply in the closet I too have lived as an intuitive being.  Even as a professional intuitive medium I have still been living in the shadow of fear and shame and not fully "coming out!"

I recognize that my comparisons will stir up questions and perhaps even criticism by describing my self within this same context as issues of sexuality.  But hiding in shame and living in the closet is an experience to which many can relate. And being a psychic kept me hidden deep in the closet for most of my life.

With psychic and mediumship abilities, I learned very early to refrain from openly expressing my authentic self to avoid the harsh judgments and minimization that were freely offered to my face  Just the other night I listened to a news piece on CBS as Katie Couric interviewed a scientist researching life after death.  Her bias rolled off her tongue as she questioned: "Aren't you concerned that this research sounds like 'new age' mumbo-jumbo?"  I noticed not one medium had been consulted for the piece.

I do not necessarily relate to the label "new age" but I am wired as a psychic medium and this usually equates with being "new age".  Other common reference are:  'woo woo'; "airy fairy";  "cultish" or some other term that minimizes and further marginalizes intuitive beings.

Many times when I have stepped out of the closet to share my intuitive experiencing of life, myriad judgments were offered. Some told me that intuitive knowing was folly; unprovable nonsense.  Some declared that it was an abomination and using these innate talents to speak with spirit was going against the God's decrees. One of my neighbors told me she was offended by me claiming this ability and that she would "pray for me" to stop.  I had a similar encounter at my husband's high school reunion.  Others have suggested my communication with spirits could be a sign of mental illness.  Still others have told me that if it were real, I should be able to prove it.  Don't you think I wish I could?  Some have judged me for using my abilities professionally, saying this is a gift from God and therefore I should not be remunerated for its use.  Though all other God's gifts are perfectly acceptable forms of professional fulfillment and service. 

When my daughter told her bunk mates at camp last summer that I was able to communicate with spirits, her friends mocked her claiming: "That is ridiculous.  There is no such thing."  My mother stated "you should not speak of it with your daughter.  Its not fair".

Like those born gay or even heterosexual, I too cannot change how I am wired.  I did not choose to experience life through psychic senses. It chose me.

Being adopted as a fair-haired, freckle-faced child within a dark skinned Jewish family led me to crave fitting in. I wanted to be normal.  Add childhood abuse, narcissistic parenting, sexual traumas and a schizophrenic brother into the mix of my early life experiences and being intuitively gifted made me feel even more marginalized. Like all the other variables that contributed to my shame,  I tucked my intuitive life deep inside me.

As a child I was able to see alternative dimensions with ease and can still access spirit at will. For as long as I can remember, I had past life recall. I knew my prior life existences.  I had an uncanny empathic skill which meant when I touched anyone, I would know their essence and feel their emotional status immediately.   I have always been able to feel another person's pain as though it were cutting through my own heart like a knife.  All I have ever wanted to do was ease their suffering.  Sometimes I would see the energy flowing from my heart to the other, as we spoke.  I have seen colors, energy patterns and most importantly, the helping spirits of individuals around me.  And, I have always known when I meet members of my soul group.

Consider the above paragraph.  Imagine having these experiences as a young child and telling your parents, your teachers, your peers or your religious leader?  Would you be readily believed? Understood? Accepted? Supported and nurtured through your intuitive maturation?

I often also had prophetic dreams. Once I told a casual acquaintance in high school about a vision I'd had regarding her father.  The next day she pulled me aside and begged me to tell her how I knew. That was the trouble.  I didn't know how I knew; I just knew.

And I had big message dreams, where guardian spirits would relay important guidance for my life.  Native American spirits often visited me and told me that I was a "shaman".  Did they know that I lived in middle-America suburbia as a Jewish kid?  I did not understand and had no one to help me gain meaning from my intuitive experiences.

For eons this is what it was like for intuitive women and men.  But women in particular.  Men were often called prophets or wise leaders.  Within a patriarchal culture, gifted shamanic souls - particularly women but eventually all intuitive humans - were made to hide their psychic or healing gifts from significant individuals.  Often they were shunned, hunted, tortured and burned for practicing intuitive processing.  Direct experience of the divine was considered evil, dangerous or occult. That legacy lives in our cultural biases today.

For years I feared my own abilities. I hid them so deeply inside myself, fearing they may mean I was evil, dangerous or dark.  The legacy of childhood abuse only added to the fears of discovering my abilities.  I just wanted to be normal.

When I was 17, I had been dancing in celebration of my impending graduation from high school with a group of friends. As the evening came to close, I crawled into my friend's car, placing myself in the center spot of her front bench seat.  As the girls were climbing into the vehicle, a  very loud male voice shouted in my ear: "Get out of the car!"  I turned to see what guy had entered our vehicle to harass me.  But no one but two girls were in the back seat.

"Who said that?" I asked.  The girls were so engaged in conversation they didn't even notice my question. Again the voice declared: "Get out of the car!"  I turned abruptly "come on" I said, "who's saying that!"  They looked perplexed, shrugged me off and continued talking.  As I moved to dismiss the voice yet again, I felt a sudden tug upon my being.  It was as though very strong hands had lifted me up over the girl to my right and pulled me out of the car.  I flew out of the vehicle and onto the parking lot pavement.  Startled and perplexed, I told my friends to leave without me and remained behind as they spun out of the parking lot.

I did not know how to explain what had just happened but was used to having inexplicable experiences.  I stayed and chatted with some friends who had not been ready to leave the event.  After speaking for another 30 minutes or so, we all headed for home. On our drive, we discovered the car that I had been "pulled from" as a ball of twisted metal on the side of the road.  The accident proved devastating for all concerned and included a fatality.  Surely I would have been one of the deceased had I remained in the center of a front bench seat, with no seat belt. For some reason, my spirit guide saved my life that night. 

Who would believe my story? Still, I was so shaken by the event that I told my father.  My dad was a engineer working as the CEO of his own company.  He gave no weight to anything "unprovable".  He was pragmatic and declared himself a Humanist.  Much like Portia De Rossi's mother telling her that she accepted her sexuality as she added, "but please keep it to yourself", my father suggested that I trust my inner voice from that point forward but also told me not mention it to anyone else.

The message was clear: keep your psychic life private.  Fit in.  Don't make waves. There was obviously something "shameful" about being intuitive. 

As an intuitive, I have had many encounters that amaze even me.  I have seen and spoken with benevolent helping spirits.  I have had a vortex of golden angels appear before me to assist me when I was in the depth of anguish. These angels revealed how to heal myself and led me into a path of recovery. I have had helping spirits navigate my way through large and small circumstances. I even had three angels come to me when I was pregnant with my daughter, showing me how she was cloaked in white light and was a beautiful spirit.  They told me her name and showed me a glimpse of her magnificent essence.

After the birth of my daughter, my intuition expanded even more greatly than before.  One day, while on the treadmill, I witnessed a magnificent angelic spirit touch my forehead.  I then knew about a young boy in spirit who longed to communicate with his mother.  The angel relayed details about this boy and though I did not know him or his mother I was shown how to reach her. When I communicated that boys messages to the grieving mother I experienced a depth of gratitude for divinity allowing me to serve in such a profound manner. 

But I did not feel worthy of such a gift.  After a lifetime of abuse and trauma, my self esteem, though significantly healed, was still too low.  I wanted to serve.  I wanted to help others.  But I wanted to do it through normal channels.  I felt ashamed of having something that set me so far apart from so many. 

I prayed for guidance about how to proceed after that first intuitive reading.  My helping spirits urged me to serve through providing readings. And once I said yes to the guidance, people began to call.  I did not advertise.  I did no promotional work.  Just like in the movie "Field of Dreams" people just started to show up. This brought me to my knees in prayerful gratitude daily!

Soon thereafter I hired a puppeteer for my daughters birthday party.  She came to my home and the moment I shook her hand, I knew she was in great distress.  As had happened many times in my life, she sat down and openly shared her life story. She spent hours in my living room as I held her heart.  At the end of our conversation, I told her about the angelic guides and loved ones who were helping her through her grief.  She asked me how I knew and told her that I could see them and connect to them through my intuition.  She was thrilled.  She asked me if I would offer her a reading rather than paying for her puppet show.  I agreed and we signed her business contract accordingly.

Two days before my daughter's birthday party, she left a message on my voice mail stating "I am canceling my part in your daughter's birthday party.  My church has told me you have cast a spell on me, that you are witch and that I must stay away from you because you are evil.  Since we signed the contract with an evil, unchristian agreement, it is null and void. I am not to go anywhere near you, your child or your home.  You are evil. Do not contact me again.  My church and I will pray for you".

That was not the first time I'd been told I was evil for being intuitive.  Nor was it the last.

As my mediumship abilities grew into a new found psychic ability, I entered graduate school.  Once again I was confronted by the biases toward being so overtly intuitive.  I was urged to keep my abilities hidden from clients, fellow students and supervisors. I was told that I could never combine my psychic mediumship skills into a professional practice as a psychologist. My supervisor insisted I never let anyone know about what I could see or feel through my intuition.  "It is unprofessional" she insisted, "keep it all to yourself.  Its only for your benefit.  Use it to serve".

At first I complied.  But the dichotomy burned harshly in my belly. How could I ever support my clients in living an authentic life, if I was so deeply in the closet as an intuitive?  I was told that I had to choose between being an intuitive medium or being a psychologist.  But I am not either one or the other:  I am both.  And I could never authentically support anyone in their healing journey if I did not fully claim my abilities and openly use them in service of others when truly guided to do so.

No one can live a fully peaceful and healthy life when they are hiding something so significant about themselves.  As the 12-Step Program states "we are only as sick as our secrets".   The other day, when I dropped my 11 year old off at her new friend's house for the first time, the mother asked me "what do you do for a living?" I hesitated and felt my internalized struggle with self acceptance matching forces with her subtle bias.  The words "intuitive medium" would not flow off my tongue and I tried to rationalize this as "protecting my daughter." I walked away wondering, "how many ways can I deny who I am?"

Portia De Rossi had to confront her sexuality and fully claim herself to heal from her eating disorder.  Ricky Martin had to embrace his sexuality openly to thrive inwardly and serve the healthy rearing of his beautiful children.  For any youth to feel safe to come out of the closet, all homosexuals need to feel that can safely emerge within our culture. 

But this is true for all of us who live as marginalized beings within a system intolerant of authentic differences. I too have to step boldly out of the closet and hide for no one ever again.  I am an intuitive medium: I am a shamanic soul. 


I want my daughter to embrace herself wholly.  I want her to know that she does not have to compartmentalize any aspect of herself to live in this world.  For the system to change, I have to take the first steps.  I have to own myself without hesitation.  It is my responsibility to openly model self acceptance as an intuitive medium and shamanic soul to serve my own integrated living and hers. 

I am confronting the biases of our culture openly now. No Divine Source of Life would create so many of us intuitively gifted souls only to tell us to hold these gifts at bay.  Like all gifts, they are to be used responsibly and ethically.  But this cannot be fully accomplished when so many of us are not valued as providing authentically helpful services.

Where are you hiding? I invite you to search fearlessly for where you hold back small truths about who you are.  I invite you to explore this question and the places where you might deny or minimize who you are.  I invite you to bring all aspects of you out into the light of day.  We heal ourselves and our world as we stop being complicate with a dysfunctional system that keeps women and men from living their true essence fully.  Today I step boldly out of the darkness, into the light of day and ask all of you who are willing, to join me. 
 

The Afterlife Process.

Ever wonder what happens when we die?

If the individual who dies is prepared for death, the new status of being deceased is accepted and the individual spirit moves through the transition with benevolent helping spirits. When an accident or sudden death happens, the benevolent spirits facilitate the acceptance process. Some individuals do resist the process and remain in a state of hyper focus on the material world. These spirits do not accept death and therefore will remain in a state in between physical and full-ascension into the light but are always given the opportunity to ascend. For most individuals, the transition is a flow from the world of physical experience into a reunion with divine source otherwise known as the "light".

During the ascension process each spirit enters into a stage of after life called "life review". Benevolent helping spirits will assist the individual through this experience too. Much like Ebeneezer Scrooge, the individual will witness her own life with a non-judgmental guidance team. Sometimes, its like witnessing a movie of one's own life. But this review engages all of the senses and allows the individual spirit to experience whatever she created while in the physical world. Every act of love will be felt fully and every other experience will be too. If a spirit created kindnesses and didn't know its effects, these too will be fully felt. If that individual created suffering for anyone else, that too will be experienced. There is no judgment during this process. Only a compassionate witnessing of how life was created and experienced by this particular soul.

The soul then evaluates how these choices served the original purpose for choosing that particular life. Often, loved ones in spirit will assist the newly deceased throughout the review process. These familiar spirits will support the individual and compassionately communicate where love flowed and did not. They too will all participate in healing. Some spirits learn and integrate life lessons easily, while others resist. Though the ego is not a part of ascended living in the light, it is still somewhat present during life review. When one is greatly attached to the physical world, her ego perceptions will prevail through this phase of the afterlife process. But grace is always an option and illumination can happen in a moment

The spirit then integrates what was learned into the vibrational structure of the soul. This becomes part of the soul matrix and serves the trajectory of that individual soul's creative path. What was not fully understood may also be imprinted into the vibrational structure to allow further opportunities for expansion to happen through other physical incarnations or non-physical experiences. The choices about one's soul evolution will be decided by the individual soul and his or her spiritual guidance team. Together, that group will determine the next best steps to serve individual and collective evolution of consciousness.

During the process of life review, a spirit is given the opportunity to make corrections. Just like when we are alive, we can shift into a deeper awareness and behaviors that reflect our understanding. Souls may be granted permission by the spiritual guidance team, to make corrections by coming into the physical world to communicate with the living. This is offered only to positively impact life in ways not done while that individual spirit was alive. This means, the individual spirit will be given clearance to make a communication through an honorable medium; a visitation dream or some other peaceful means to promote healing, understanding, closure and growth.

Spirits are not ever permitted to cause suffering. When this happens, that spirit has not entered into the ascension process and is not participating in life review.

The primary purpose for a medium is to reassure individuals that life is eternal and that spirit can communicate with the physical world and to facilitate the communication of a correction. Mediumship is not meant for casual conversation or to create any form of a dependency on connecting with spirit through a medium. Mediumship serves as a step within the life review process and when done with integrity, the messages will serve the life review of all concerned (by assisting physical and non-physical spiritual evolution).

A life review is a significant opportunity for the growth of all souls. It allows one to see how she fulfilled her purpose and where she allowed fear to dictate choices. Life reviews can be done while still living in physical form. By learning to witness our life honestly without judgments to serve our evolution, we participate in our life review consciously. Divine helping spirits suggest we do this regularly and at least once per year, specifically around the Fall equinox when every soul's records are openly reviewed by spirit annually.

Life review is not a linear process. It can be an ongoing integration depending on the circumstances of that individual soul and its soul family. After the initial stages of a life review which can take anywhere from 4 - 11 months when looked at through linear time, a soul then chooses his or her next steps. Some spirits move into higher dimensions of creation and experiencing.  Some souls experience ever increasing states of bliss, love, joy, freedom. Some rest and reconnect with loved ones in spirit. Some move further into spirit and some choose to keep one foot in the physical world as a helping guide.

Engage in Your Life Review
You can take a fearless and searching inventory of your life at any time. Make the time and space to do this. I suggest going somewhere beautiful, serene and nurturing to your spirit. Sit quietly, breathe deeply and ensure you will not be interrupted. Bring a notebook and pen, get comfortable and relaxed. Then choose to be a "scientist" or "compassionate witness" as you reflect upon your life. Remember, this is not a time for judgment or criticism. This is about discovering who you are and how much of your soul self you are expressing. A conscious life review is an opportunity to honestly choose to live as your true self!

One way to conduct a life review is to write your life story in 3 - 6 paragraphs. Then carefully and compassionately read what you have written. Notice the themes of your life. What are they?

Ask yourself the following without judging your responses:

• What are you passionate about? Where and how do you express this passion?
  
• What guides your daily choices?
• Where are you creating love, freedom or joy?
  
• Where do you feel fear, doubt, anxiety and struggle?
• Do you hold any resentments? Whom do your resent? What do you resent?
• What will it take to forgive or release your resentments? What do you gain from holding onto your resentment? What will you gain by letting it go?
  
• Do you have any debts? Financial or emotional? Where are you in fear about giving? Do you give freely or fear losing your money, your heart or energy?
  
• Are you willing to forgive yourself everything?
• Are you willing to forgive yourself anything?
• Where are you unwilling to forgive yourself? And what are you gaining by holding onto your judgment? What might you gain if you absolve yourself?
  
• Where are you selfish or self serving? What do you get from this? What do you lose? Are you willing to shift these patterns?
  
• Where are you judging or blaming? What do you gain from this? What do you lose? Are you willing to shift these patterns?
  
• Where are you kind and generous? What do you get from this? Are you willing to expand these choices?
  
• Where are you compassionate and understanding? What do you get from this? Are you willing to expand these choices?
  
• What were you born to do in this lifetime? Where are you expressing it? Where do you withhold this purpose? Are you willing to express your purpose now? What will it take to do that?
  
• When you die, what legacy do you want to leave behind?
  
• What do you want to take with you into your after life?
• Who are you?
• Who were you before you were born? Who will you be after you die? How do these answers influence how you experience yourself now?
  

Everyone dies a physical death. Everyone goes through life review. You can engage this process consciously and expand your soul's experience here on earth now. And all the helping spirits who assist you through life review will happily assist you now. Just open your heart and mind and let the process unfold.

Please share your response to this blog.  Or let me know what topics you'd like me to discuss here.  

Do you believe in intuition? The truth is, no matter how intuitive you are, your mind will always discount your intuition.

I do not believe in intuition. Indeed, I have always been pretty skeptical when it comes to intuition. But intuition for me, is not something derived from my beliefs. Intuition is a knowing.

My mind still cannot grasp how I can see and hear spirits, experience multiple dimensions and know that which is not expressed in ordinary reality. So it remains an ever present skeptical and often awed witness to the intuitive process. My mind is not a believer. Its my soul that knows the truth.

The mind always wants proof for our intuitive process. It seeks validations from spirit to believe. And while evidence and validations help - they will never convert a skeptical mind completely. That mind will always question what it cannot take full credit for creating and understanding.

To develop your intuition means knowing this duality exists within your physical experience. Your mind has one experience while your soul has another. Your mind will seek validations for your soul's intuitive guidance. And once you allow the mind to evaluate and determine the validity of your intuitive process, it will suck the very life out of the gift your soul is working hard to give to you.

When intuitive guidance comes, its always coming to serve your highest good. Because the guidance flows from that which is all-knowing, it does not provide proof for why, how or where its going.

Consider the watching a movie you enjoy. You move along the story line with the characters, feeling all the emotions of elation and disappointment as they confront the plots twists and turns. The characters have no idea where they are going or how they will get there. And neither do you. You witness the experience with engaged interest allowing the ending to unfold, trusting that a well written story will lead you and the characters to a fulfilling conclusion.

The writer script knows precisely why the characters are making certain choices, engaging in specific challenges and where it leads. Your soul is exactly the same as the writer of your specific plot line. Your soul knows why the intuitive guidance fits into your specific purpose and the value of enacting that guidance.

When you receive intuitive guidance there is always a bigger reason than your mind can grasp. But your mind will ask for evidence: "If I do this, how will it serve me?"; "What will be the outcome of this choice?"; "How will I pay for that?"; "How does eating that and going there bring me to a soul mate?"; "Is this truly going to work for me?"; "How can this be right; it makes no sense?"

By spending time with those questions and giving them power, you shift from alignment with soul into identification with the mind. The purity of your guidance fades. You feel doubt. And likely do not act.

Your soul will try again. And again. And again. Because the guidance has purpose. Its not like the mind - it doesn't change tunes. It has a mission and it will keep trying until it gets through by you allowing the message into action.

And you won't get another message until you enact THAT specific guidance.

People often ask me how I got to be so intuitive. I was born this way, just like you. And I consisently growing this ability. The gift expands through the willingness to allow the mind to witness my intuitive flow rather than diminish its relevance in my life. I don't squash the skeptical thoughts nor do I empower them. I simply notice them, while then allowing intuitive messages into my consciousness. When I do empower my mind over my intuitive flow, I suffer. But when I allow intuitive truth into my awareness and enact it boldly, my life unfolds in ways my mind could never have imagined.

Receiving the intuitive flow is only one part of growing intuitively. I have to act. I receive and then enact the guidance as it comes. And taking action while understanding that my witnessing mind will question the intuitive choices and always provide evidence for not doing it! I take action knowing its going to be uncomfortable. Like a good yoga stretch, I allow myself to move into something new, breathing deeply, feeling the mind's resistance while moving in the direction of my soul.

Intuitive guidance does not make logical sense. It will never appease the mind. Just like the characters within a movie plot. Remember, it is only at the end of the film that each one appreciates the story-line and how the choices, scenarios, players and rhythm of the actions got them to the fulfilling conclusion. Retrospect reveals the purpose.

Intuition isn't based on belief. Belief is the realm of the mind. Knowing is the realm of non-physical reality. It is the dominion of the soul.

Intuitive guidance will never appease your mind. It will never give you enough evidence or answer the questions to completely validate your faith. It may help - but until your mind can completely prove it - your mind will never fully believe.

The mind serves a purpose. It is meant to allow us to experience the physical world, just like the body serves as an important container for our spirit. It gives us the power to interact within certain limits and to experience the richness of individuality. But its not the eternal or infinite resource for our being. Its a tool.

Intuitive living means you live in full alignment with your soul allowing the mind to be a tool for life rather than dictator of your reality. To evolve and experience the bliss of intuitive living, you have to decide to shift your identification with your mind as the central knowledge base for your life into the infinite wisdom of your eternal essence - your soul and all that your soul is connected to.

When you receive intuitive inspirations, they will come as a knowing, a feeling, a vision. You may simply feel the need to "do this next". When you act on that inspired message you strengthen your intuitive muscles, empower your spiritual essence and evolve.

Your soul will never lead you into failure or set you up for pain. It is always interested in your highest good and therefore, the highest good for all life. Your soul is aligned with your purpose and the infinite resources available to fulfilling that purpose with ease and effortlessness. And your soul is resonant with joy,love, health and prosperity.

You get to choose how you live: from your mind's data bank or your soul's infinite resources. Mind-centered living gives you what you have already. The world currently reflects mind-centered living. Soul-centered living creates a world reaching beyond your mind's vision and fulfills a higher destiny that simultaneously evolves you, serves life on earth and allows the infinite well of divinity to pour forth into your life.

The choice is yours. My mind often resists the party of soulful living, but that's OK. I witness its tantrums and resistances and lovingly bring it along for the ride of its life! Living a soulful life is a consistent opportunity to shift into the world of infinite possibilities and allowing them to unfold in miraculous ways. You have that power. Just breathe, listen, allow and then take inspired action.

Have soulful fun!
Namaste, Lori

What do a retreat, Kennebunkport, The Wizard of Oz and Manifesting have in common?

This month I have had back-to-back enriching weekend experiences beginning with leading a Soul Retreat at a Yoga Sanctuary in Northern Michigan and finishing with an extraordinary weekend learning with Psychic Medium, John Holland in Kennebunkport, Maine.

Before last week I had resisted the idea of leading a soul retreat for reasons that seemed sound to my mind. Within a shamanic journey however, I was encouraged to stretch into this particular new experience. My intuition revealed the specific yoga sanctuary and the details for how to create an uplifting retreat for all concerned. Though hesitant, I listened and opened to allow the gifts of this message into my consciousness. As I took inspired action each element of the preparation and implementation flowed easily and effortlessly. By allowing the messages that truly challenged me to flow into my awareness and actions, I was led into an experience that has forever enriched me.

And then I was led to beautiful Kennebunkport, Maine to study with John Holland and Bob Olsen. The invite was forwarded via email from a friend. I had never heard of John or Bob, but was immediately moved to register. My rational mind worried about the logistics including leaving my daughter for two full weekends in a row. Observing the doubt, I breathed into my body and felt into the deeper truth of a call to go. I had no idea why: I just knew I needed to attend. I booked the workshop with no further contemplation.

I have since learned the John Holland is a gifted psychic medium, teacher and author. And Bob Olsen is a former skeptic and private investigator that presently focuses on enhancing the credibility of psychic phenomena for consumers. This unique workshop offered by John and Bob combined two different professionals to provide exactly what I had asked the divine to show me months prior. From start to finish, the experience moved like the rhythms of a finely choreographed dance. Every moment proved fulfilling and the experience has profoundly changed my perspective about my abilities and profession.

The divine universe supports our creation process. But it can only create for us what we allow through us. I was resistant to leading a retreat and flying to Kennebunkport. Had I tried to understand how these two experiences fit into my manifesting process logically and allowed my limitations of thought to dictate my choices, I would have missed out on two powerfully transformative opportunities.

To live soulfully and create our path consciously requires consistent acts of courage on our part. Though intuitive living is the most natural way to be, we learn very early to identify with ideas that do not align with universal laws and spiritual truth. This type of thinking becomes the norm. Then, when creative impulses arise our mind cannot make the ideas fit logically into the bigger picture of our life. We learn to dismiss these urgings placing greater value on the logical momentum that creates status quo. Though our fears, doubts and worries are born of the temporary machinery called the mind and emotions, these are what shape the reality most of us experience. When we learn to delve into the deeper truth of our soulful essence, fear loses its power and becomes a portal through which we can grow and realize our dreams.

These two weekend experiences are pieces in a larger puzzle of my soul’s journey. While I may not yet know how they fit into the larger puzzle – I know that they do. Consider how Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz needs to meet the Scarecrow, Tin Man, Lion and even a Witch to realize her ultimate destination experience. All of the characters and encounters of Dorothy's journey are essential elements to the fulfillment of her wish. As we listen to the deeper call from our spirit and courageously enact the guidance when it emerges one step at a time, we nurture our creative process. Each step has intrinsic value as it simultaneously lends itself to the bigger purpose of our life story. Action steps birthed from our mind require us to fit the choices into the bigger picture and do not complete our soul purpose, so they leave us feel incomplete, unfulfilled and drained. Inspired actions are rarely comprehended as critical for our purpose in present time but are often understood in retrospect. When taken they uplift, enrich and fulfill us even when we do not yet know how they fit into the bigger picture of our manifesting process. Though Dorothy does not appreciate the value of her bizarre encounters along the yellow brick road, every one of them served her journey and are understood once she arrives home and is fully awake.

How do you manifest your soul’s purpose? It begins with the intention to know your true essence and allow your unique beauty and light to be expressed freely. Support your intention with energizing practices such as creative visualization and immersing yourself and immersing yourself with the emotions of fulfillment and appreciation for having your dream realized. Be playfully consistent in your willingness to see, feel and allow these emotional sensations into your body, mind, words and actions daily. This alone serves as a spiritual call to people, places and things that match your sustained intent. Every moment of allowing the sensations into your present time life shapes you into the reality you are becoming.


My life’s purpose is to love and inspire love throughout life. This translates into a career where I am consistently able to nurture an awareness of a deeper truth through individual and group readings, workshops, retreats, CD's and articles. That truth equates with soulful living. When we live from our true essence, love is the currency shaping our lives. This is not the emotional love of our mind but the pure unconditional compassion that exists within our essence and felt through our senses as love, bliss, serenity, freedom, unity and cooperation.

This summer I am offering several ways to enrich and empower your soulful creation journey. I invite you to breathe deeply into your body and listen to how your soul responds to these offerings. If you are inspired to join me in any of these experiences, I hope you will take inspired action and join me into the exploration of your true essence and the power of love.

Every month I offer a manifesting circle for individuals who wish to practice energy exercises. When so inspired, I add a manifesting teaching to this process and so on June 7, from 7 – 8:30 p.m. I am offering a workshop on Supercharging Your Manifesting and clearing the blocks to your creation experience. Come to learn and experience a circle of like-minded people who are consciously creating their reality.

On June 14 from 6 – 7:30 I am hosting the Free Cooperative Networking Event led by Teri Williams and Tamara Stone! If you want to grow your professional success you can begin by aligning with universal laws of cooperation versus the competitive laws of the ego. This step alone will energize your professional experience! Bring your business cards, enthusiasm and professional expertise to share!

On July 8 I am offering a small group reading experience limited to 15 participants only. This event allows all present to receive a message from loved ones and divine guides and in spirit.

Every soul has a specific purpose for its physical life. On July 11 I will be providing a brand new workshop that uses numerology, past life regression and theme tracing to explore what your soul has chosen to learn and share in this lifetime. This is not the same process that I teach in my intuitive empowerment program.

It is my great honor to welcome Chandan Parmaswara to teach the Level 1 Pranic® Healing Workshop. Prana is a Sanskrit word for life force. And Pranic Healing has been used by health professionals and lay people around the globe. Chandan is a highly evolved soul and powerful teacher. He comes to Pranic as a former skeptic and science based individual who was astonished to discover the true power of this healing approach. If you are interested in enhancing your health and overall vitality or grow your professional skills as a healer, I invite you to join this workshop.

Remember, this is an abundant universe. You are a divine soul with full access to the infinite resources, means and methods to enact intuitive guidance with ease and grace. A Soul Retreat, Kennebunkport and the Wizard of Oz are all reminders of how moving in concert with soul's flow leads to growth, joy and fulfillment.

Loving Blessings to you all. Namaste,

Lori

Waking UP

I was raised in traditional Midwestern suburban community during the sixties and seventies. My father worked as engineer and entrepreneur and my mother earned a doctorate in sociology and taught at a university medical school. My parents believed in all things tangible and encouraged us to do the same. Though my specific ability to directly communicate with the spirit of loved ones revealed itself in my adult years, I was keenly aware of experiencing the depth of spiritual reality in early life.

As I child I was able to see into multiple dimensions and observe the energy surrounding people. More significantly was the ability to feel the emotions of others with an understanding about their circumstances. Often when I touched another, I would see images and gain insights about the individual. I was able to see the origins of pain or concerns. This experience elicited profound compassion within me toward most people.

At times I had dreams or visions about future happenings, knowing that the details provided were not to be interpreted as destiny. Somehow I knew that each vision about the future was not a fact of fate. Clairvoyance provided information to assist the individual concerned, into making a higher choice.

Like many of you, no one in my family spoke of psychic phenomena. Intuition was trivialized and even mocked. Psychics were depicted as "airy fairy" flakes. Because I had other qualities that made me feel separate and alone in life; I did not want to stand out in the crowd by announcing that I had psychic experiences. So I kept my abilities private.

When I was a teen, a helping spirit prevented me from dying in a car crash. The afternoon of that event, I felt an intuitive nudge not to drive. There was no rational reason to avoid driving, but the tug at my gut was persistent. I tried hard to ignore the sensation. Later that evening, five girls, including me got into a car. I climbed into the center of a front-bench seat and just before we left the parking lot, a loud male voice shouted “Get out of this car now!” The voice was unrelenting and I turned to see if a male had joined our group. No such luck! The male voice continued shouting at me and I was not moving. Suddenly I felt as though I was being pulled out of the car. I finally surrendered to the urging, removed myself from the vehicle and my friends spun off without me. An hour later, I learned they had been involved in a fatal car crash. That evening my life was spared through a direct encounter with spirit, but who would believe me? I told no one.

As a young adult I had similar encounters with spirit. I prayed silently and would receive compelling guidance in response. When I honored the guidance my life improved. During this time, I had consistently compelling dreams about multiple dimensions, soul groups and spiritual helpers. Through these dreams I also received guidance for my life. One repetitive dream included a Native American male telling me that I was a shaman who needed to awaken.

But by my late twenties I had reached a pivotal encounter with pain. Throughout my childhood, teens and even early adulthood, I had experienced sexual, physical and emotional trauma. As a teen I started using alcohol to numb the pain. One night of silent desperation, I lay my head down in prayer begging God to free me from my suffering. Within moments, a golden vortex of light imbued with angels appeared with in my apartment. No, I was not hallucinating! These angelic beings radiated pure love that enveloped my heart. Their compassionate aid told me how to heal from my suffering. I was given specific instructions about my current status, how to deal with it and if I was willing to let them help me, how I would transcend the situation into a whole new life path.

I began actively listening to the divine assistance being offered me. As I enacted each step, my life continued to improve. But I had to do the work. They did not wave a magical wand to fix me. Instead, they encouraged me to take responsibility for my life and my healing. They guided me with specific steps that helped me face my suffering directly and led me to supportive people, places and experiences that helped me to grow. I listened to my intuitive guidance and embraced healing.

Soon it became a daily ritual for me to enthusiastically ask, listen and enact divine guidance. I observed how my thinking mind would often resist and even counter the spiritual assistance being suggested. It seemed my mind and emotions preferred the familiar, even when it meant suffering. When I succumbed to the resistance; life grew challenging. In contrast, as I allowed the guidance to come through me into action; my life was noticeably enhanced.

One afternoon an angel appeared to me and it was then that my intuitive abilities expanded into receiving direct messages from the world of loved ones in spirit. This astonished me! I had never contemplated or been drawn to such work. My divine helpers showed me how to receive and understand the spiritual realm with increasing accuracy and facility. Eventually they showed me how to provide ethical and meaningful readings for others.

Being a psychic medium was not in my plan for life. By then, I had left my profession as a marketing executive to raise my daughter and was returning to graduate school to follow my passion for healing and growth by becoming a psychologist. As soon as I was admitted to graduate school, spirit began urging me to open my mind, to see that I could serve healing through a completely different approach than I had ever considered. Not only did this stretch me into a whole new professional direction, it pushed me out of the closet as an intuitive being.

I began offering readings from my home, but through word of mouth, my practice expanded so rapidly, I had to move into an office. I was uncomfortable calling my self a medium, because it seemed so new to me and because I didn't know "everything" about spirit. My self-perceptions were consistently challenged by the divine. And while my professional life was expanding exponentially, my personal life fell into turmoil. Family members passed into spirit and my personal relationships began to unravel. Then my spiritual helpers offered the familiar message: “Wake up Shaman” they would say, “Wake up!”

I did not know the meaning of this guidance. I thought serving, as a medium was a stretch but now I was being called a shaman by the spirit world. My mind conjured all kinds of images about Native American Holy Men and Medicine Women and I wondered how I fit into this idea of a shaman. And then I was offering a reading for a young man who had encountered a severe trauma about six months prior. His parents brought him to me, after seeking myriad traditional healing approaches for their son that had brought no noticeable assistance to him. They showed up in my office desperate and seeking guidance on how to help him. I promised nothing but to see what might be revealed through intuitive means. During that session, I was shown by my guides that this man had experienced a dramatic soul loss through a meditative initiation led by a guru. A significant aspect of his soul had left his body through this process and I could see the dimension where his soul was residing. And it was during that reading that my guides revealed that he needed a soul retrieval. I had completed graduate school and an internship in clinical psychology and had studied with some of the most gifted holistic and intuitive healers in the world: but I had never heard of “soul loss” or a “soul retrieval”. My guides told me “this is what you were born to do”; revealing I had done so in many past lifetimes. But to be honest, in this lifetime I was baffled! I shared my findings with my client and his parents, explaining I had no prior knowledge of such a thing but I was willing to research. Immediately following the reading, I conducted a web search on “soul retrieval” and discovered it was a shamanic practice. I was then guided to refer my client and his family to the trained shamanic practitioner for a soul retrieval.

The web search led me to Sandra Ingerman - a gifted soul retriever and shamanic teacher but this was not the draw - my soul recognized her with a pure sense of elation. I enrolled in her next workshop and flew to Santa Fe to study. While there, my guides began teaching me about soul retrieval. I meditated and learned from them in the early morning only to discover that what they had shown to me was being taught in Sandra’s class that very day. As I opened to this aspect of intuitive healing and practicing, my heart and soul felt increasingly more peaceful. I became like a sponge, soaking up my guides teachings enhanced by Sandra's wisdom and experience.

Today I continue to learn from both spirit and teachers in the physical realm. And I always share what I learn. As an intuitive medium and shamanic healer, I am able to do many kinds of work - but I am not equipped to provide a reading or healing for everyone. My intuitive guidance will tell me when to serve in that role and when to refer a client to a better match or different service for healing.By shifting my identification from the material world to that of a soul centered life, I have been healing, expanding and living a consistently enriching life experience. I now see the eternal nature of spirit and how it is evolving through human consciousness. I am humbled and awed by what I have encountered and learned thus far.

I am no special person, per se. I am a regular individual, just like you. We are all uniquely gifted. Trauma pushed me open my eyes, but I had to open them. I had to learn how to see, feel and understand what life was showing me. I was encouraged to release my identification with my physical reality and realize that I am a soul. By doing that, I heal, deepen and expand. Living in touch with my soul and the world of spirit is a daily practice.

A reading, a soul retrieval or energy healing are not fixes. When divinely sourced, each service can provide a gateway to you. By stepping through that gateway, you can discover the eternal nature of you as spirit and activate your innate power and purpose. Spirit guides do not make your life work for you. That is the unique responsibility of each one of us. But by opening to the eternal reality of you as a soul and the divine assistance available to support you, you are then empowered to embrace your inimitable gifts and contribute to the beauty of life.

By opening to the divine assistance made available through my intuition, I was able to heal and expand into a path of service that is far grander than I had ever imagined. I am eternally grateful for the gifts from the divine and it is my profound honor to share these services and teach others how to awaken to the innate language of soul. The journey of life is infinitely rich, empowering and exquisite when we shift from living through the paradigms of our mind into the immutable truth of our soul.

Creating Abundantly

Are you someone who has tried hard to manifest your dream life and to date you feel baffled, confused and frustrated with the “manifesting process?” Do you wonder if you’ll ever create what you truly desire most?

By now you have likely studied the laws of attraction, visualized your outcome, created your vision board and done the footwork. So what is the deal?

Many times client’s will ask me “where is my soul mate?” or “will I get that job”. Time does not exist within the realm of spirit, but what I will see is the distance between the desired experience and the individual’s energy field. That distance is the tell-tale marker of vibrational resonance and the state of allowing. When you do not yet have the desired experience, it isn’t that that laws aren’t working on your behalf. They are immutable and ever present. It is that your doubt is still present and your energy is likely focused on the gap between you and what you desire.

I’ve witnessed clients who profoundly want a soul mate. Perhaps he is energizing this creative happening daily by truly feeling the sensations of having and being within that outcome as though it has happened. But then, he is observing the lack of its presence more often than feeling the emotional resonance of being and having that true love flourishing in present time. That observation occurs because doubt is present. And that doubt or perception of the void of having is energy in action. It is a vibrational equivalent to “not having”.

Is it easy to visualize being prosperous when you are in the midst of financial struggle? Not when you identify with the physical world as your source of peace, fulfillment and abundance. That identification means you believe in the financial struggle as a reality that is happening outside of you. But when you feel your true nature as an eternal divine being, knowing that immutable laws of love govern you– duality fades and doubt disappears. You are one with all-that-is. You are powerful to manifest any reality you are willing to energize.

Here are four easy ways of moving the energy from doubt and lack into faith and having/being.

Breathe deeply and remember who you are. You are not your body, mind and emotions. You are a soul having a physical experience. Feel into your pure essence of love, light and truth. Say in your mind or aloud: “I am a soul. I am eternal. I am the light, love and truth of divine essence flowing into my mind, body and emotions now”. Feel into this truth and practice tuning into this reality. Set an alarm 3-4 times throughout your day, place it on a chime or uplifting sound-setting if possible and use that moment to breathe deeply into your soul self. Breathing in and out, feel into your true essence.

Appreciate. As you breathe into your soul-self and feel into your immutable nature, take time to appreciate your whole being. Appreciate your breath, your body and your surroundings. Appreciate being a soul in a physical world. Appreciate having this moment, having consciousness and being able to appreciate. Feel your ability to appreciate and whatever you appreciate will expand into your life.

Allow validations from spirit to show up. Spirit is always providing signs of its supportive presence in your life. When you ask for, acknowledge and appreciate validations from spirit, your vibration is in alignment with having and being. One sign that my father is present and supporting me from the world of spirit, is through a hawk flying over me. One day when I was visiting his grave, I sat in prayerful meditation and said “Father, reveal your presence to me”. Just then, a beautiful, red-tailed hawk swooped down over my head and circled me several times before ascending and floating in the high sky. Was my father a hawk? NO! But by opening to the validation, I knew this was a physical way of showing his presence. It came in a form I did not expect and my heart welled with gratitude. That state of allowing signs from spirit to show up without attaching to the form is resonant with being abundant.

Practice Resonance. Look around you and notice what you have created in your life that you enjoy. You have allowed these people, experiences and objects into your life. Enjoy this reality! Appreciate that you are resonant with what you have created. Feel into the sensations of having manifested whatever you are observing and appreciate your creative power. That state of appreciation is resonant with being and having. The art of creative visualization is the practice of allowing your being to radiate specific vibrational frequencies in the present so that you, as a divine spirit, can attract more of whatever is resonant to those frequencies. Meditation and creative visualization are important tools for practicing being present to the divine essence of life. By bringing the energies experienced through meditation and visualization into your daily actions, you develop harmony with what you want. Through practice, you will shift into a state of resonance with having desirable manifestations.


You have a desire because your soul wants to express a sensation that has not yet been allowed into your energy of thought and emotion so consistently that it feels natural to you. Your perception may tell you that when you have that experience or object – then you’ll be able to consistently express that sensation. But that illusion emanates from identifying with the physical world and ego. You have the power to emanate those frequencies now and the desire exists because your spirit wants to express this through you now! By feeling those sensations through creative visualization or meditation and then practicing expressing that energy in your daily life, you will become fully resonant with being and therefore having like creations.

As a limitless divine being, there your power to manifest infinite. Your mind cannot grasp this concept; its abstract to your linear brain. You, as a soul, know this truth. You were born to access, allow and therefore create whatsoever you are willing to express through you. Identify with your souls-self, appreciate your creative power, acknowledge spirit working in your life and practicing allowing the sensations of your phenomenal soul to be expressed into magnificence daily. It is your true nature to do so. And above all, have fun in the process!