Do Spirits Have Egos?

Yesterday I was with a friend when I heard a renowned medium state that “All spirits still have their egos on the other side”.  She elaborated: “Your deceased relatives are exactly the same as they were when you knew them”.  And I have heard other highly regarded mediums make this same claim. 

As I listened to her words, my stomach tightened and I became nauseated.  Have you ever had that feeling?  That feeling is my intuition telling me that something I am hearing is not resonating with my soul.  It is not the same as hearing a lie; for me, it means there is more to the story.

My discomfort was compounded because I hold this particular medium in high regard. But I have had different experience as a medium.  

For the sake of this discussion, I am not referring to spirits who have not crossed into the light of divinity.  Those spirits remain attached to the ego so strongly, that they move about the physical world hoping to avoid life review or desiring only to experience physical sensations.  Those spirits do have egos and may not evolve, but will change over time and become more dense.

The spirits I am discussing in this article are those who have crossed into the light of divinity.  These spirit do bring forth their identities and specific details that help clients identify their loved one – but they are not the same as when they were alive.  

A few years back, a renowned atheist and intellectual teacher died from a terrible car accident.  Hours after his passing he stood right in front of me while in spirit and said “Well, there is a God.  Not quite like people say but it is different than I ever believed”.  Was he the same as he was when alive?  

So what is true?

I decided to examine the question in meditation and seek guidance from my divine helping spirits.  They were eager to help me understand and asked me to share the following:

·   Most spirits in after life do not maintain their egos as humans understand the ego on earth.  In other words – the ego and our relationship to it differs greatly once in spirit.  

·   After physical death, spirits are invited into an exploration and integration of their most recent life.  This process is known as “Life Review”.

·   Life Review is a non-linear compassionate exploration of one’s entire life.

·   Benevolent spirits assist the soul through the Life Review process.  Angels, guides and loved ones all come to the soul’s aid during this time.  The Life Review crew also consists of spiritual helpers who hold a neutral witnessing while the soul integrates the experiences of life into his/her higher self before reconnecting with his/her over soul (over-soul is the unification of souls into a spiritual essence larger than the individuals and not yet fully integrated into Source)

·   During Life Review that soul experiences the emotions associated with everything he/she created in his/her lifetime.   This is not a judgment; rather it is an opportunity to experience the profound understanding of how each action impacts others and how all actions impact the self.  No action happens in isolation or solely to the one it is directed.    

·   The ego begins to loosen.  It is at this time that a soul may recognize that he/she is fully connected to all life. The soul in this state of Life Review feels less identified with his/her physical self and opens to deeper understanding of spiritual evolution.

·   Some individual souls will continue to remain attached to their identities and the ego that formed that identity. This is not viewed as bad or good.  This is simply a facet of evolution. These souls may spend some time shifting into states that they fully enjoyed experiencing while alive.  Many will choose to look like they did at their favorite time of life and create experiences that reflect joyful memories of life.  Some reconnect with family and reengage in activities that bring mutual joy to those involved. These experiences are still part of the Life Review process.  Remember, Life Review is non-linear.  Many times this is the stage of after-life when spirits reconcile with other spirits.  The healing manifesting through this phase of afterlife also loosens the identification with ego. 

·   Every time the soul deepens his or her understanding, perceptions shift and the ego lessens its hold on the soul. Because time is non-existent within the divine realms of reality, there is no urgency to shift.  Souls move at the exact right pace. The Source of All That Is knows that every human soul will evolve to the point of full realization, illumination and enlightenment.  At every point in the non-linear process of Life Review, each soul is being helped by divine and familiar spiritual guides to integrate life lessons and evolve.  

·   During Life Review, souls are permitted to connect with the living only to serve the evolutionary process.  Spirits during this process, may come through dreams, leave signs, give the living feelings of comfort or peace; communicate messages through repetitive thoughts or a communication through a friend or even a stranger.  If a grieving individual is feeling lost, sometimes the spirit will flash lights in the house to get the attention of the living to say: "life is eternal; I am here and with you.  We are loving you and helping!  There is far more available to you than your physical senses alone can appreciate".   

    Often the communication is accomplished through a selected clear conduit for spirit usually known as a medium.  These messages are not casual as they are specifically focused on the evolution for the souls involved.  These communications will include important validations to verify the identity and relationship of the spirit to the living so as to create a grounded appreciation for the purpose of the encounter.

o  For example, if a soul realizes during life review that his actions in life created suffering for his child, he may choose to enter into a mediumship session to make amends and offer encouragement to support the realignment his daughter’s soul to a higher pathway. A neutral medium is selected to facilitate accuracy in the message so that the living can trust that spirit is real, the communication is accurate and the message is therefore truthful.

o  This kind of message will offer enough detail about the identity of the spirit to allow the client and the medium to appreciate the validity of the message.  The spirit determines what details to provide.  I tend to connect with the nuances of that spirit - behaviors, significant memories, unique mannerisms; the language, unique phrases and intonations of speech; beliefs and values; how he/she related to the family; cause and experience of death; happy memories tend to come through me during a reading. When these important details are communicated and the spirit knows that the recipient truly recognizes him or her, the purpose for the visit will be communicated.  Once the entirety of message is received by the living, both souls shift.  This type of life review message uplifts, empowers and inspires the highest good in all. 

o  When the ego loosens for the spirit because of a direct encounter it is often called a karmic correction.  When this happens, the spirit is then able to ascend through his evolutionary process more readily.  The spirit receives a healing and the ego loosens. The individual on earth is also healing and is therefore able to shift into a new creative direction in life.  Ancestral patterns of dysfunction can be freed during this type of encounter.  Imprints within the living person's energy field can be dissolved and potential soul destinies can be more easily realized.  As the living individual moves forward, the soul in afterlife does too.  

·   Within the context of Life Review, the soul appreciates the meaning of his/her life journey and how every aspect of life was designed to support evolution.   As experiences are understood to serve the soul's evolution, again the ego shifts its hold and the soul grows. 

·   A spirit may choose to enhance aspects of the soul during this phase of Life Review.  He/she may participate in dimensions of divinity to enrich, refresh and heal. There are dimensions to accelerate intellectual evolution; sensual fulfillment and emotional enrichment.  Though we do not have a sensual body, there are realms where sensual experiences can happen in the divine realms - that is smells, colors, textures, sounds of magnificently soul enhancing qualities can be experienced. 

    One spirit I encountered during a reading informed his partner that he was studying in the “halls of knowledge” in after-life.  He added that he was also working with a team of other helping spirits to assist the new president in supporting global peace.  Another spirit I encountered told her daughter that she had been asked to help the victims of 9/11 cross into the light.   Most do not serve on global committees, instead they connect with loved ones in spirit or life. These encounters prove enriching to the soul, allowing the soul to appreciate what was missed in physical life, further evolve and loosen the attachment to ego. 

·   When a spirit communicates with the living, he or she will reconnect with aspects of the ego that identify that individual to the living recipient of his/her message.  If the spirit did not do that, the client/living individual would not know who was speaking.  How the spirit communicates this identity often reveals the stage in Life Review.  During an encounter, a spirit may appear quite different than when they died. That spirit can appear younger, healthier, thinner.   The first reading I offered as a medium revealed the spirit of a young boy at the height of this health; he was not at all identified with the suffering he experienced from his illness in physical life.  That soul had already fully learned from the experience and released that aspect of his persona completely.  The next reading I offered however, revealed that the spirit was fully attached to his cause of death and it was through the communication to his loved one that he was able to break free and move forward in spirit. 

·   If a medium connects with a spirit only once he or she may not realize that the soul will continue to evolve after the connection.  For example; the medium who was speaking about spirits being exactly the same in after life mostly offers audience readings.  She encounters a spirit once - usually at a pivotal time in Life Review.  Audience Readers are meant to help the entire audience release their belief in the physical world as the only reality that exists and help each member know that life is eternal and spirit is present, thriving and helpful.  But someone with this purpose may not often reconnect with spirits other than in a short encounter through an audience reading.  The purpose is profoundly significant but the effect may be that the medium is not recognizing that the soul is continuing to evolve and will appear different over time. 

    If the medium re-encounters the same spirit a year or so later, she/he may notice that the spirit has changed.  That change will typically reflect the ego has loosened significantly or may have vanquished altogether.  I usually notice this at first by the feel of the spirit as they feel significantly lighter. The spirit may no longer be carrying the burden associated with cause of death; the grief of the living; the fears he or she had when alive. If a spirit has evolved, he or she will want me to know this and will want to communicate this to the living.  This is when they will still reveal all kinds of validations about their identities but will also demonstrate changes that have occurred in after life. 

·   Physical life is not the only method for releasing the identification with the ego.  Souls evolve through numerous dimensions and experiences, not physical life alone.  No soul has to return to physical life to evolve. Coming to earth is a choice made by the soul and his or her spiritual guidance team in after life. 

    Yes, spirits still have helpers in after life.  Divine guides who assist the soul through the process of evolution while in spirit. Angels are ego-less beings.  Ascended Masters are also ego-less beings. Power animals are ego-less spiritual helpers.  But not all teachers in spirit are ego-less and they will tell you outright about their status when asked.

·   Spirits of loved ones do not automatically become all knowing and powerful.  Often the living want spirits to do things for them and fix their lives! But this is not possible.  Spirits can and do help us all to make better choices and connect with people, places and resources we would not ordinarily consider.  We do have infinite resources available to us and spirit will always reveal how to access this when we are willing to do so.  But we are meant to live through our free will and choose our destiny.

So is my dad who died 11 years ago exactly the same as he was before he died? When he shows up to me, he comes through in the same form that I knew him but significantly younger and he looks at his peak health.  He is usually in one of the outfits I bought him for father’s day and is often very happy and peaceful.  When he communicates, he is focused on a specific issue that means a great deal to me or someone in my family.  He only comes to support my growth and deeper understanding of my purpose and never to fix my life.  His personality appears as jolly as it was when he was living. 

However, my father did not believe in spirits when he was alive. He NEVER believed in mediumship or psychics.  He did not even believe in a Supreme Consciousness or in an after-life.  He believed that religion was an opiate seducing the masses into conformity and disconnection from wisdom.  He was a proud cultural Jew but he was in no way religious. My father was a physics major in college; a scientist and eventually an engineer and entrepreneur.  Though he valued my intuition - he did not value my psychic abilities whatsoever.  Indeed, he was extremely judgmental of my connection to the divine and spirit.

Before he died, he was also very frustrated with me when I announced that I was leaving a lucrative career to remain home with my daughter and possibly return to graduate school.  He did not want me to forgo the security he saw me work so hard to create for something so "unsatisfying and mundane".  He did not want me to go to graduate school to become a psychologist.  He feared that my decision would adversely impact my families financial status.  He said all this to me two months before he died.

My grief over his passing was too intense for me to accurately connect with my father for what seemed a long time.  His first appearance to me included him saying: "Lori, we need to talk!” His first interactions with me were all about inspiring me to attend graduate school. 

As I enacted the guidance he and my divine spirits offered, he came through more clearly.  He confessed to me that he had no idea that souls continue to live on after physical death.  He was astonished by this realization.  He was excited to also learn that I could see and hear him.  He made amends to me for how he reacted to my decision about quitting my corporate career to serve as a mother.  He explained how he had experienced his own mother and the pain he saw my mother suffer because of the pressure she had received to forgo higher education and "fall in love with being a stay at home mom".  He did not want that same suffering for me.  

My father believed in science and found no credible evidence for psychic phenomenon when he was alive and that man in said to me from spirit: “Lori, you are able to help others by providing guidance from spirit.  I did not know who you were when I was alive, but now I know. Please honor this calling. I will help!” My father told me to continue with graduate school but to form a practice and suggested calling it: Sacred Balance. He told me to teach others to listen to their intuition and to help them discover a world he did not know existed while he was alive.

Had my father clung to his ego in after life, he would never have been able to shift his perceptions and offer that kind of message.  His physical death and Life Review allowed him an opportunity to grow.  From spirit he made amends for many mistakes he had made as a father; he offered encouragement in ways he could not when alive; and more significantly I saw my beautiful father experience the divine in after life in ways he did not know were possible while living. 

This awareness does not make the other mediums I mentioned above wrong.  It reveals that there is more to the experience that one may fully appreciate.  Egos are not the same in spirit as they are in afterlife.  Souls evolve, egos shift and life continues to expand. 

Do you have a different understanding? Or an experience you want to share?  Please share your questions and comments below.