Thoughts from the Inner Realm: October 2011

Friday, October 28, 2011

End of the Mayan Calendar - October 28, 2011

By now we know about the prophecies of profound change within our midst. Many of us have been aware of the December 21, 2012 date as the end of the Mayan Calendar. According to some researchers, that date is incorrect and the true date is October 28, 2011. It seems the fourteen month difference from the December 21, 2012 date is attributed to the error in translating from a lunar to a solar calendar (Gregorian Calendar).

Whatever the date may be – we are in a shift from lower frequency human consciousness into a higher one. And this is a time of celebration! We are moving from a solar plexus dominated species (third dimensional ~ ego centered creative pattern) into a heart centered consciousness (fifth/sixth dimensional and higher ~ intuitive/soul centered creation experience). Intuition is the dominant language of this higher dimensional experience and will be the foundation upon which you can rely for integrating the energetic accelerations and transitions.

These changes have been happening for some time. But they are accelerating. Most will experience these shifts much like we do physical and spiritual growth, as a process – not an event.

We are being assisted through this important transition. If you are still reading, here is where it may challenge your mind’s perceptions of this process. There are highly evolved beings of light surrounding the globe in triangular formations who are stepping down finer vibrational frequencies to uplift us through the transition. Still with me? Hang tight because our DNA is encoded to expand from its double helix into a multiple strand expression. And that is being activated.

I know that this sounds like science fiction. I have been given information like this since I was eight years old and believe me - I know how it sounds! But it is happening. Everything my guides have told me over the years, is occuring before my very eyes. Including the unfolding of intuitive processes within the general population; tsunamis; governmental and economic shifts and more. The world is shifting and we are all changing at a cellular level. There is nothing to fear. It is not a doomsday prophecy but a rising from a consciousness that bound us to suffering into a trajectory of love.

Prior to your birth, you – as a soul being - chose to be on the earth during this transition and you are therefore already prepared to adjust. If you are conscious of the changes, you will feel them happening within you and within your personal lives. It makes it easier to navigate the acceleration process when you participate in it. If you are not conscious of these changes, you may feel like your world is being rocked to the core. And even if you are aware, you may feel like you're on tilt at times.

Hold steady. Breathe deeply. And open to the process.

Some of the symptoms of these changes are experienced on the earth as natural disasters and polar shifts. The earth is also adjusting. Other symptoms manifest as breakdowns of dysfunctional systems that were bred from the ego and no longer fit a fifth (and even higher) dimensional consciousness. That means governments, economies, health care and educational systems and other institutions will dissolve to make way for holistic approaches manifested through the soul-centered consciousness that serve the highest good for the whole.

If we respond to these changes without fear, we will simply grow into new ways of operating. But the ego doesn't give up so easily. So we may experience full blown collapses before we create anew. This is a time of celebration, as we are evolving into a new era of creation for humankind.

Remember, if you have ever built a house - you dig out the land first. It does not look like much at first, so you have to hold the vision of your intention, allowing its creation to happen one step at a time. If you are not aware of what is happening, you may be terrified when you see only bare land. When you know what is happening, you can feel the excitement of something beautiful in the making.

On a personal level, these higher frequencies mean we will no longer be able to tolerate relationships, jobs and all scenarios that are out of alignment with our soul. We will be called to make significant changes and we will feel uncomfortable until we do. You will no longer be able to see yourself as your physical identitiy alone. This shift requires you to acknowledge your true essence as a soul. Your intuition will become sharper; your dreams more vivid. You may notice more signs from spirit; experience greater synchronicities. You may want to eat differently; make amends; bring closure to the past and heal. You may notice the need to move to a new area NOW or the deep knowing that you cannot ignore your soul's purpose. You may feel a spiritual shifts and emotional upheaval. As you open to these experiences, you will move through this transition with greater ease. As you resist, you will feel increased tensions and addictive patterns may become acute. Your intuition is in place to help you navigate these changes from living a disconnected, obligated life into fluid alignment with your soul.

This is a quickening which means time is collapsing. You may notice things happening more rapidly. Manifesting will be easier and your loving thoughts will show up in numerous forms far more readily. Fears will also move more quickly into physical formations and feel far more intense than usual. The shadow is ready to be exposed, witnessed and transmuted. Compassion is the golden key to unblocking trapped energies and moving them all into higher frequencies.

So how do you cope during this transition?

Meditation – Mindfulness and other forms of meditation will assist you in calming your body, mind and emotions. It is an essential ingredient in your shifting from identification you’re your ego-personality, opening into your true higher self and developing your intuitive skill. Make time every day to sit in silence, breathe in and out of your body consciously, let thoughts float by as you witness your mind’s activity without judgment.

Develop Your Intuition – Intuition is the language of the soul, linking you to all that is. It is the bridge to your ascension. Intuition transcends the rational mind’s limitations and allows you to experience your authentic creative power and tap into resources that logic alone can never discover. To move through this transition process consciously, discover and cultivate your intuition one day at a time.

Let Go – Take time to identify beliefs and systems that do not serve your highest good. You are worth the effort to heal all that binds you. Letting go is a conscious process, often accomplished through smaller steps. Release old patterns; recover from addictions; relinquish unhealthy relationships; clear clutter; let go of things that do not uplift you.

Open Up to Love– As you release, you will benefit by also opening your heart and mind. Your heart chakra is a gateway to the highest divine frequencies experienced through the human consciousness as unconditional love. It can be found within the essence of all the chakras but is most easily identified through the heart center. As you open to this divine love and focus it in the direction of your healing, you can transmute beliefs and patterns that limit your true creative power. You will then unleash the exquisite divine nature that is you. Practice chanting or focusing on unconditional love; ground and then focus on the heart and upper chakras and allow that love to radiate throughout your system. Send that love into your cells daily; then into your personal life and then in to the world.

Clear, balance & Activate – Your chakras are the ethereal organs of your energy system. During this time of change your chakras are shifting into a unified chakra system by opening to higher frequencies and allowing higher chakras to be accessible to you now. These higher chakras allow you to experience your true Avatar or Higher Self Consciousness within this body, in this lifetime. Make time to release ethereal cords and accumulated energies that cannot serve your highest good. Clear, balance and attune to the higher frequencies daily.

Raise Your Dietary Vibration– Eating foods of higher frequencies will allow you to be more connected to your soul’s wisdom, the angelic support consistently present for you and assist you in integrating finer energies being stepped down for your benefit. Higher vibrational foods are directly from the earth, locally and seasonally grown, with minimal processing. They are organic, raw and have not caused harm to any aspect of life.

Rest – All this shifting is energy in motion. You are releasing, healing, accelerating and integrating. That is an active process. Acknowledge this and take time to rest, adjust and rejuvenate. When experiencing this energy change unconsciously, you will feel drained, anxious and uneasy without knowing why. Take time to nurture you!

Play – Playfulness and spontaneity are natural states for us. When we are going through a lot of change, the ego may feel fearful and resistant. Worry can be habitual, so the above steps will help to loosen its hold. Intentional play will assist you in breaking free from ritualized patterns stemming from learned beliefs. Laugh; have fun; dance; create; think out of the box; color; wear glitter; jump on a trampeline; play catch; be in the world like a child. Take time to play!

Engage in Conscious Exercise – Move your body with the intention to heal and uplift your energy. Exercise that colludes with your ego’s goals will cause harm to an aspect of your being. Conscious movement will enhance your overall health without compromising any aspect of your body, mind, emotions or spirit. Conscious exercise promotes presence in your body, mind, emotions and spirit. Dance; swim; yoga; qi gong; tai chi and other forms of joyful, sensual and uplifting movement will support you through this change process.

It is a time of change and a time of celebration. You can embrace this rite of passage, move with the currencies intentionally and enjoy the process!

Law of Attraction Ho'oponopono

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Sweet Surrender

While walking on a treadmill in my home in 2002, an angel reached down from above me and touched my forehead. Suddenly, I knew that a young boy who was no longer physically alive, needed to speak with his mother. His name, age and manner of death were all revealed to me. Though interacting angels was already a part of my life, I had never been asked to share a message from the deceased to the living before this moment. “Don’t you know that I am not medium?” I declared to the angel who was not moved by my objections and simply said: “Michael* needs to speak with his mother.” I asked, “How do I do such a thing?” and I was immediately shown a clear image of someone I knew casually. “Call her now; she knows the boy and mother” said the angel.

I was being asked to place the strangest phone of my life. I imagined a scenario somewhat like: “Hi there, I am Lori – you know, Sam’s mom from our children’s playgroup. While on the treadmill this morning an angel touched my forehead…um…yes, I said an angel….yes, yes… the angel touched me and no I haven’t been drinking or recently released from psychiatric care…..yes, I see angels….yes, before today…yep I see them….ok.. Before you hang up, do you know a young boy named Michael* who inexplicably passed away who has a mother named Jane*? “

What would you do?

I placed the call.

And yes, the woman I called knew exactly of whom I was speaking. It was her cousin. She contacted Jane and two days later the boy’s mother called me. As we spoke on the phone, I relayed messages to the mother of a young boy whose spirit stood in my kitchen. We spoke for two hours. I could feel the energy of these messages touching the heart and soul of this grieving mother as she validated their accuracy. The boy was surrounded by loved ones in spirit and angels who were helping him as he was working to be freed from the pull of his mother’s despair. I noticed that her suffering was impacting his ascension process but as his messages were received by her, he grew lighter.

After the call, I was awed by the inexplicable interaction with this woman and spirit. I fell to my knees and cried: Who am I to bring through such messages? Dear God what do you want me to do with this?

I was a wife and mother living in suburbia. I had left a successful corporate career upon the birth of my daughter and was planning to attend graduate school to earn my doctorate in clinical psychology in the fall. I intended to develop a private practice, open a healing center, lead workshops and teach at the college level. But the divine had another plan for me. Slowly I released the tight hold to my goals and opened to a completely different idea for supporting others through their healing process.

How often have you been invited by spirit to let go of what you think you need to do; what you want; or where you should go for something unknown and likely far greater than your mind can envision? When you truly listen and allow divine spirit to flow into your consciousness, you will first feel the tension between what you believe you should be/do/have/want and what is true. I had deep judgments about the idea of being some kind of "psychic". I envisioned carrying a crystal ball, wearing scarves and long gowns! And my rational mind likes research and factual evidence. Being asked to do readings felt like I was being asked to jump off the edge of the Grand Canyon. It was letting go of what I expected and how I saw my self and it was letting go of what seemed rational and doable for something unknown and not readily accepted. But through the art of surrender, I learned that I was never being set up to fail. I was opening to a whole new way of being in the world; exploring the depth of consciousness and that which exists beyond the scope of our limited abilities to adequately quantify.

When you surrender into that higher wisdom that aligns you with spiritual purpose and divine order, you will discover a grounding fulfillment and sense of serenity that can only be realized through this type of letting go. Like me, you may enjoy checking off the items on your codependent-ego-driven-to-do-list. But doing so will not evolve, fulfill or truly serve the highest good of life.

The ego isn’t too keen on this idea. First of all, it has stuff to accomplish. It has to prove itself worthy by earning more; getting more; accomplishing more. It has to keep you busy so you will not discover who you are. So the ego resists surrender, because it views it as defeat.

Surrendering to a higher source of wisdom takes a courageous willingness and knowing that you are not bound by the constructs that shape your personality. As you move into the intelligence of your soul through your intuitive processing, you will hear the challenges rising from every learned belief you have inherited that defines you and your world. Because the ego denies your true infinite essence it requires more from the physical world to satisfy its cravings. The ego is never at peace and when you are led by it, you are never peaceful. Surrendering to a higher power will feel horrifying because your ego will require evidence for your choices. You will be urged only to do that which you can prove, that which supports your identified code of conduct.

Your intuitive truth does not abandon all reason. It supplies you with resources and a clear pathway for fulfilling soulful calls. It never asks you to suffer for intuitive choices.

Your spirit exists in a complete unity with all-that-is. There is nothing you lack when you are fully conscious of your true self. You are neither fear or doubt - or the obligations that sustain both. When you surrender to your soul self, you are aligned with values that serve the highest good of life. You cannot cause harm, exploit or deceive any aspect of life when you live intuitively. Rationalizations, minimizations and denials are experiences for the ego. Acceptance, noticing, being and empowered action are the providence of intuitive living.

Today I am a student of surrender. I experience it as an art of relaxing the body, mind and emotions through focusing on my breath. It allows me to sense my true nature and no longer identify with the fears swarming through my ever-present monkey-mind. That is a practice, as I feel into the expanse of my soul’s true essence and honor the intuitive call to actions without resistance. There is no emotional turmoil associated with intuition; only a fluid dance with the truth. So when resistances arise, I know the ego is working hard to prove its case. I practice noticing compassionately, calming my body and choosing to honor the highest truth. Each step I take in this state of surrender ensures I am living in harmony with life.

This is what I now do for a living. I sit with individuals or groups of people and I attune, align and allow divine essence to pour through me in service of the highest good of all concerned. Labels like "medium", "healer" "shamanic practitioner" don't truly fit but they do allow many to have an inkling about what might happen in a session or class with me. My practice is allowing: it is the art of sweet surrender. And that description may not work too well on a business card, I know. Though I may speak with loved one's in spirit, encounter the akashic records and discover soulful essence of my clients or teach soul retrieval and shamanic journeying......in truth each encounter is all about showing up and surrendering - nothing more – and nothing less.

*the names were changed to protect privacy.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

What is Intuition and Why Does Intuition Matter?

Intuition is the convergence of your innate wisdom with non-physical essence and your physical sensory system. When skillfully mastered intuition can enhance your mental, emotional, spiritual and physical well-being; connect you with your purpose and allow you to tap into unlimited benevolent resources. Sound like a lofty promise? It is and it delivers.

At a time when the world is changing rapidly, intuition is the bridge to your sanity. It is the resource for navigating changes in the most abundantly sound and purposeful manner.

Because you are not just a physical being, when you experience life through your physical sensory system and mind alone, you will feel a nagging ache for something more. That painful disconnect is created through identification with your personality as the beginning and ending of you. It is the call home to your true self. Your soul and benevolent non-physical guides are ready and able to assist you throughout your lifetime.

So why not take the time to discover who you are by learning to honor your intuition?

First, let’s be clear about what intuition is not.

• Intuition is NOT a haphazard manner for making decisions without any criteria. It does not dismiss the need for rational, real-world application.
o Intuition is the language of non-physical energy. Understanding intuition requires you to hone and test your skills. Undeveloped intuition can lead you astray. To cultivate accurate intuitive flow you will need the willingness to make mistakes as you discern between true divine guidance and the hunches streaming through your emotions and thoughts (aka your ego).

• Intuition is not a new age phenomenon.
o Intuition is as organic as your five physical senses and as old as human consciousness. For over 40,000 years indigenous cultures benefited from understanding intuition as the source for spiritual insights, healing and living in balance with the natural rhythms of life. Mystics, prophets, shamans, midwives and other great masters used intuition to bridge the gap between suffering and awakening. Scientists, explorers, adventurers, farmers; poets, artists, builders and chiefs also used intuition to bring through new noble pathways for living. Intuition is a practical, down to earth system for accessing the non-ordinary reality for wisdom, spiritual enlightenment, healing and every day thriving.

• Intuition is not motivated by your emotional triggers and desires.
o Intuitive insight and guidance is never attached to your wants, thoughts, beliefs and emotions. It streams from your neutral eternal self and the benevolent forces of spirit existing beyond the seeds of personal desire. It does not change as you change your mind. It does not flatter or acquiesce to your ego. It will not make you believe you are superior or less deserving than others. Intuition is the truth beyond all emotion and belief that is designed to lift you from your attachments and into a freedom of flow that will enhance your well-being in ways your mind cannot truly accept. It is neutrality infused with compassionate awareness - it is never judgmental. And it does not change its message to agree with your beliefs. It will always pull you in the direction of true growth, fulfillment, health and peace.

Intuitive choices are holistic. Intuition allows you to move in a synchronicity that benefits your whole self – not just a part of you.  Intuitive choices will therefore benefit the whole system, not just a part of it. For example, if you are intuitively moved to go into a specific profession, when you enact this guidance precisely and consistently, you will draw from your natural interests and talents; experience deep fulfillment in your work; thrive prosperously; benefit others holistically; grow intellectually; feel emotionally uplifted and evolve spiritually. When you honor your intuitive being in this career you will not be able to exploit or be exploited; you will not pollute or use resources in ways that undermine the ecosystem. Your intuitive process will serve your well-being and therefore the health of all.

When you choose a profession solely based on your rational mind, you may use your natural skills to earn a lot of money and even experience great success. But when you live by your rational mind, you experience your resources, options and self as limited.  Your ego's choices will guide you to work hard for a lot; pay a price for your success. You will thrive in some ways but always at the expense of fulfillment, physical health, balanced relationships, spiritual evolution or environmental safety. You will rationalize these costs as the "price you pay" for this chosen work and even create an economic system or other beliefs to support this paradigm as valid. That which is derived from the rational mind alone, will always benefit small facets of the physical world without any authentic consideration for the costs to other aspects of life because the ego/rational mind experiences you as separate from everyone and everything. Intuitive choices revere the whole and therefore serve the sacred balance of life.

Intuition brings your dreams to life. You were born as a multisensory being destined to fulfill your soulful aspirations that your mind readily dismisses as too hard to reach. Intuitive dreams draw power from non-ordinary resources and support your spiritual evolution. Intuitive dreams do not place you in a power position above others or create fast fixes to your life. Instead they support your expansion and will evolve you. I was once asked by a client "why would my guides ask me to do something that I don't feel comfortable doing in order to realize my dream?"  His guides revealed: "Because your not wanting to do this thing reflects your internalized fear of failure and process of evolving. You are learning that neither has power over you. As you enact this guidance you will become free from this belief and evolve. This process also deepens your purpose and writing. Your work will flourish through these steps". Intuitive dreams do not necessarily make you the next American Idol or Nobel Prize Winner because they are not ego-centered goals but your experience in realizing intuitive dreams will be that symbolic and fulfill you without being solely dependent upon prizes and fame. You may win an award; but the true present will be the journey.

You are not meant to struggle. Suffering is founded on the addiction to our physical world. And that can make us us feel we have to control people, places and things for our lives to be successful. It makes us feel disconnected and thrives on the belief that soul dreams will not pay the bills. We then dismiss intuition because the mind cannot believe what it cannot prove and the world supports the paradigms founded on the rational alone. When we seek beyond the false belief that we are a limited self and begin to discover who we truly are, we access a serenity and power existing within the core of our being. Through intuition we discover that love is a constant presence within our heart that no person, thing or circumstance has the power to thwart. We unleash the innate infinite stream of energy that is not dependent upon external circumstances or perceptions to exist.

Intuition will heal you by first freeing you from all that binds you to your past and your false beliefs. Intuition reveals the most relevant means for expressing your passions and talents into meaningful service. It provides real resources for its direction. Intuition opens you to breakthroughs and is the source for discoveries and new inventions in our world. When accurately applied, intuition invites the soul of life into your choices so that all life is enhanced.

When you learn to master your intuition, you will know what to do with deep confidence sustained by a limitless source. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by life’s roller coaster ride, you will be able to navigate the ups and downs with increasing facility and equanimity. Eventually you will only experience the present moment, so ups and downs will be meaningless.

Though I was born intuitive with psychic gifts, I suffered for many years by not honoring my intuition. Because I experienced innumerable abuses throughout childhood and violent traumas in my early adult life, I lost touch with my soul and fell into addictive patterns that only reinforced my sense of isolation and pain. By my twenties I felt completed defeated by life.

During one evening of basking in a familiar anguish, I humbly prayed for help. And something happened that changed me forever. As if out of a Hollywood movie, a brilliant swirling light streamed through my living room. It was clearly visible and filled with the exquisite angelic beings who enfolded me in divine love. I was overcome with peace as their love poured into my every cell. These angels communicated in unison and encouraged me to walk a path of recovery. They shared insights about my state of being and told me they were willing to help. By listening to their guidance, I was led to the people and places that would help to nourish my mind, body and spirit back to health. After that night, I practiced surrendering my addiction to my ego and opened to a higher truth one day at a time. I practiced listening, testing the intuitive guidance and growing my skills.  Doing so changed my life for the better in every meaningful way.

Today I still hone my intuitive and psychic skills daily. I take nothing for granted because intuition is as strong as my consistent application in every day life. My work as an intuitive medium and shamanic practitioner grew from this practice.

I currently offer Intuitive Empowerment Workshops to support others in coming home to their true essence and living life in the flow of divine guidance. I teach esoteric approaches in a practical, down-to-earth manner to help individuals of all levels of experience and backgrounds.

Imagine how your life would be better if you could easily access the help of your divine angelic guides ?

In November I am offering a weekend workshop at the beautiful Soothe Your Soul Center in Oxford, Michigan.  You may hear, feel, see, envision, dream or simply know intuitive guidance. Intuitive Empowerment is designed to help you discover the power of your internal navigating system and learn to use this innate gift with confident accuracy. The more you tune up, tune-in and practice honing your guidance system, the easier it will be to master intuitive flow. I hope you will  take the time to discover and develop this invaluable gift by joining us on November 19 and 20.  Call 248-236-9855 to register today.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Recovering Your Soul Self

Have you ever taken care of others before honoring your own basic needs? In our culture, this behavioral trait is often seen as a positive attribute that is indoctrinated at a very young age and rewarded throughout life. Many of us were raised to believe that we need to earn our value in this world by pleasing others at our own expense. We learn early to say “yes” when we really mean “no”; to give when what we need most is to receive; and to strive for a perfectionism that can never be realized. We come to believe that self-care is selfish and that disapproval from significant others is intolerable. This pattern becomes so automatic, we often find ourselves acquiescing to the needs of other to avoid confrontation at any cost.

But the price for this behavior is the connection to our authentic self. This kind of caring is not serving the highest good for anyone and exemplifies what’s been coined as codependency – a term developed out of Alcoholics Anonymous. Though codependency is not a clinical diagnosis, it describes a pattern of behaviors, thinking and feelings that promote unhealthy self-sacrifice and caregiving.

Codependency manifests when our sense of worth is based on meeting the needs of others. This behavioral pattern is learned in early childhood and modeled or encouraged throughout development. It moves the individual to seek control over people and events; strive for perfectionism and avoid uncomfortable emotions. Codependents will care for others until they begin manifesting physical and emotional ailments. They will tell you that they are “just fine” even when they are hurting, exhausted and feeling used up. Codependent individuals tend to blame themselves for abuse, loss and troubles within a relationship.

Sound familiar? If you grew up in a home where a parent was alcoholic, addictive, narcissistic, physically or mentally ill, abusive or unavailable you are likely to have the pattern of codependency. When its left undressed, codependency will progress into other addictive patterns such as alcoholism, drug addiction, eating disorders, workaholism, sexual and relationship addictions. Individuals struggling with codependency patterns tend to attract abusive, aggressive or narcissistic individuals into their lives. They often remain in unhealthy, stressful jobs and relationships or repeat these relationship scenarios until they confront the internalized patterns and heal.

I have been in many circles where individuals claim to be codependent in a casual manner while everyone chuckles - though codependency is no laughing matter. When we lose touch with our authentic nature we compromise our soul’s purpose on a daily basis. The price is one’s emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being.

What does the pattern of codependency look like? Codependency includes patterns of denial, compliance, avoidance, low self -esteem and control.

• Patterns of denial include the inability to feel or identify emotions; a lack of empathy for those who do not sacrifice like they do; a minimization of anger and a repeated draw toward unavailable individuals.

• Compliance patterns manifest as a compromise of personal values and integrity to avoid rejection or reactions from others. Compliance patterns include extreme and unwarranted loyalties; acquiescing to other’s needs, wants and opinions; and exchanging sex when love is what’s truly desired.

• Individuals with codependency patterns have internalized the admonitions from early life making the inner critic highly judgmental of self and others. Because the codependent’s sense of worth depends on others’ perceptions of him or her, it is nearly impossible for someone with this pattern to admit they are wrong or easily make decisions. One with this pattern rarely advocates for the self; but will boldly do so for others. Individuals with codependency patterns do not set healthy priorities and often forgo personal success and gratification while privately resenting being overlooked.

• Control is a central theme for one with codependency because they were lost within the chaos of their childhood homes. They believe others need their help, should take their advice and become resentful when directions are not well received. They give a lot of praise, gifts and affection in exchange for approval. They will manipulate others to meet their own needs but deny this is happening when confronted. They are rigid and when hurt; they will cut people off rather than self-reflect, negotiate or compromise.

• Codependency patterns include avoiding intimacy, judging others harshly and allowing personal addictions to people, places, and things to interfere with their ability to form meaningful relationships. They will do not believe that a power greater than themselves will truly enhance their lives. Emotional expression is often viewed as weakness.

Do you have the patterns of codependency? Take a few moments to ask yourself the following questions:

• Have you ever had a hard time at having fun or letting go?

• Do you feel guilty or uncomfortable when others give to you?

• Would you rather be giving than receiving?

• Do you know what you like, want, need and honor it easily?

• When you take care of yourself, do you feel selfish or guilty?

• Do you often put other’s needs before your own?

• Do you feel a strong need to be in control, in charge or follow rules to feel safe?

• Do you personalize criticism or other people’s choices?

• Do you ever seek approval or validation from others in a way that compromises your personal well-being, integrity or even your safety?

• When you want to say “no” do you make an excuses or even lie to avoid disappointing someone else?

• Do you struggle with sense of confidence or find it difficult to make decisions?

• When you make a decision that serves your highest good and others question it, are you able to remain true to your choice?

• Can you tolerate disappointing others when being true to yourself?

• Do you blame yourself when issues arise within a relationship?

• Do you avoid confrontation and work hard to “keep the peace” at any cost?

• Do you isolate or avoid intimacy?

• Do you feel mistrusting of authority figures?

• Are you much more able to express anger about injustices that are done to others than stand up for those done to you?

• Do you feel compelled to help people solve their problems and take care of their feelings?

• Do you work in a helping profession?

• Do you feel empty or bored when you are alone or do not have someone to care for?

• Is it challenging for you to be still, sit in the silence of meditation and discover your inner world?

• Do you lose interest in your life, friendships and dependents when you fall in love?

• Do you stay in relationships that don’t work for you or tolerate abuse, deceit, addictions within your relationship?

• Do you remain tied to unhealthy relationships due to financial dependency?

• Do you ever say “yes” when you really mean “no”?

• Have you ever lied in order to avoid confrontation or having to explain your boundaries?

If you said yes to several of the questions above you may be living out the pattern of codependency. Liberation from these patterns requires being honest about them in the first place. Having the pattern of codependency is not your fault. It is learned in childhood when primary caregivers model this behavior or expect family members to support their narcissism and other dysfunctional patterns. When a family system does not value the exquisite wholeness of each individual, this dysfunctional pattern will breed addictions including but not limited to codependency.

You can heal from codependency.

If you are experiencing codependency patterns, healing will be a courageous act of letting go of your false self and discovering the authentic essence that is you. Codependency keeps you feeling small, trapped and isolated – recovery allows you to experience direct support from spirit and a community of individuals committed to healing and evolving consciously.

Steps for healing from codependency:

• Choose to heal. Recognize that you have adapted patterns of seeing yourself and relating that do not serve your highest good and limit your potential for intimacy and thriving. It is the healthiest individual in the family who seeks therapy or help. Admit where you are struggling and give yourself the help you so deeply deserve.

• Make your healing your first priority. Codependency is an insidious pattern of suffering by accommodating other's needs over your own. It is a pattern that is highly revered within our culture. The pattern means you put your own needs last and deny how people pleasing is hurting you and others. To heal you will need to confront this habit with fearless willingness to see and understand yourself and then make a new choice, one day at a time.

• Join a Recovery Group. You cannot heal codependency in isolation. Hiding your struggle and doing it on your own are symptoms of codependency. Share your courageous healing journey with others who are truly committed to changing their behaviors and diligently working a recovery program to do so. Go to a therapist specializing in reclaiming the healthy self; attend 12-Step Programs dealing with these patterns; attend healthy-self recovery and empowerment groups. You will discover that you are not alone and gain tools to heal and grow in safe, nurturing environments. Some local options include:

o Eleanor Payson’s seminars and groups www.eleanorpayson.com on discovering the healthy self.

o Chris Sarris workshops on the Power of Belief http://www.puravidacoach.com/.

o My workshops on Intuitive Empowerment http://www.lorilipten.com/ help you connect with your soul’s truth in favor of your mind’s habitual patterns and connect with the divine guidance consistently present through presence.

o Shamanic Apprenticeship with Colleen Deatsman http://www.colleendeatsman.com/ Shamanism is the ultimate freedom from codependency because you will learn to discover your true essence, wisdom and spiritual guidance.

o Codependents Anonymous, Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families and Alanon are 12-Step based recovery programs specifically dealing with this pattern.

• Develop one day at a time approach to your healing. You did not become codependent in one day and will not heal overnight. Through years of exposure to dysfunctional patterns during your most vulnerable developmental states, you developed your strategies for valuing and caring for yourself and managing relationships. You heal only in the present and this is done with support, one healthy choice at a time.

• Practice compassion. Compassion fuels healing; judgment locks your wounds in place. Compassion allows the healing energy from the heart chakra to infuse whatever you look upon. Judgment locks the energy of your perception in place. Healing is a process, like learning to walk. When you open your heart and allow compassion to flow, you give yourself the space necessary to stretch and grow. Just like when you learned to walk – you held on at first, took it slow and fell down often. You were always going to walk but imagine if you had judged your every move, fall and day-to-day progress. You probably would never walk! Healing is no different. When you become willing to actively engage in the process of self discovery one day at a time with compassionate wisdom from a supportive community and from within - you heal and grow.

• Cultivate spiritual connections. Healing from codependency restores your connection to your innate exquisiteness and the sacredness of life. As you shift from identifying with your imprinted beliefs, you will uncover your soul’s purpose and potential. This is connection is cultivated through daily practices such as: meditation; guided visualization; connecting with nature; prayer; engaging in creative expressions; playing, dancing and moving to music; yoga, qi gong or tai chi.

• Let go and let the divine take over. You do not have to manage, control or fix the lives of other adults. You do not have the power to make others happy or miserable. You do not have to advise or force a situation or help anyone “get it”. People are exactly where they need to be in this life; and when we get out of their way, their soul path can unfold. Take responsibility for your life and leave the rest to the divine.

• Emotions are healthy. Anger, grief and deep hurts may rise into your awareness when you stop resisting them through codependency patterns. These energies are not negative and will not harm you when you allow them to move through you safely while you compassionately witness their flow. Emotions have the power to inform you of the story you have survived and when integrated, you will feel the restoration of your true essence flourishing. Codependents often avoid sharing the deepest emotions; so it is important to seek support that does not attempt to placate, fix, minimize or judge your emotional struggle in anyway rather supports, witnesses and compassionately allows you to experience emotions without judgment or collusion.

• Healing will feel selfish. In the beginning, taking time to heal and honoring your soul’s truth over your habitual patterns will feel uncomfortable and even selfish. You will have to learn to feel the tension of disappointing others while you recover. People who are used to you giving at your own expense and doing what they want so they can feel supported, will fight you. In my personal recovery, this has proven to be my greatest challenge. Saying yes and no when others dislike it has cost me relationships and for a codependent, there is almost nothing worse. But in recovery, it is a sign of releasing relationships based on dysfunctional patterns. I have surrendered so deeply to honoring spirit, that doing anything else is like dying a slow death.

• Extreme self-care is the foundation of your recovery. Get enough sleep and rest; exercise to nourish you health; eat a balanced diet; tend to your spiritual life; honor your emotions; learn to listen to your soul’s wisdom and witness your mind’s chatter without giving it life; breathe deeply; spend time outdoors daily; practice giving when its authentic and receiving with openness; get a massage; laugh out loud; share your story; take it one day at a time.

You are a divine soul. You were not born to please or improve other’s lives. When you learn to listen and honor your authentic soul-self, your life will expand into a meaningful journey. When you feel disconnected from your purpose and meaning, it is because you are struggling with the beliefs that define you into something less than your true self. Recovering your authentic being is a life-long journey that promotes your spiritual, emotional, physical and intellectual health.

Healing from codependency allows you to accept others and not change them to meet your needs. You will cultivate an intimacy with yourself that allows you to develop meaningful connections that will include deep self-respect and respect for others. You will make decisions that flow from your core and not compromise your integrity. You will be in relationship where each individual accepts full responsibility for his/her personal joy, thriving and well-being; gives freely and truly; and receives freely and truly. Conversations will openly validate your and other's experience of reality without needing to undermine or change your perception and vice verse. Confrontations will manifest with abiding respect for each personal perspective. You will tap into the infinite well of wisdom, joy, love and health consistently present to you through conscious presence and discover that you are worthy of all the grace of life!